There are many studies out there that suggest we often marry people like our parents. In the case of Daughters, they often marry men that are like their Fathers. This can be a wonderful thing if their Fathers are good men, caring husbands, and active Fathers. However, this can be a very bad thing if their Fathers are cold, distant, or abusive.
Many of us (Daughters) marry men like our Fathers because of familiarity. Our Dads are the first men that we have a relationship with. This relationship makes an imprint and leads us to look for the same thing in future relationships because it is what we know and what feels right.
When I look at my husband, I see many of the same traits in my Father (most good, a few not so great). At the end of the day, I am happy that I married someone like my Dad. My Dad is a great man. He is a wonderful husband to my mother (not perfect but he really tries and that is what counts). He is a great Father to me, my brother, and sister. Finally, my Dad has built a successful life both privately and professionally. He is a successful businessman, an active member of the community, and a good friend. If my sons grow up to be like their grandpa, I will be a proud and happy mother.
I am so blessed to have found a man who is a lot like my Dad. My husband shares many good qualities with my Dad. I tend to doubt that I would have married him if it wasn’t for the example that my Dad set for me. He was a role model of what to look for in a man. Without his good example, I doubt I would have known to look for all of the wonderful characteristics that my husband possesses.
Now, I’m sure you’re wondering, how does this apply to me? Are you a good role model for your Daughter? Would you like her to marry someone like you? I hope that the answer is yes. If it is, keep up the good work. Continue to show your Daughter, through your actions, the kind of man that she should marry. Be a good husband and Father. Be active in your community. Be a good steward of your time and money. In essence, be the kind of man that you would like her to end up with someday.
If you aren’t that kind of man yet, it’s not too late for you or your Daughter. Make some changes in your life starting today. Talk to your Daughter about your failure to be the kind of man that you would like her to end up with someday. Tell her where you fell short and why she should look for someone who is different than you. Finally, it’s never too late to start being the kind of man you always should have been; start now to be the kind of man you would want your Daughter to marry.
Some resources to shed some more light on this topic:
CNN.com/living “Why you’re likely to marry your parent” by Celeste Perron
Strollerderby@babble.com Little Girls Really Do Marry Their Daddies Posted by JeanneSager
Image Source: Dreamstime
